Fantastic Beasties!

Hello everyone –

Fantastic beasts have been on my mind lately, as I’ve been preparing for two upcoming presentations about them that I’ll be giving on campus this spring. Cryptozoology and geomythology are fascinating fields of study that have fascinated me for a long time. Here are two songs – one traditional and one literary – that make mention of fantastic beasts (and some ordinary ones, too).

"A Place In The Choir"

(Traditional Appalachian Folksong – 20^th Century)

All God's creatures got a place in the choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,

Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,

Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now

All God's creatures got a place in the choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,

Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,

Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now

Listen to the top where the little bird sings

On the melodies and the high notes ringing,

And the hoot owl cries over everything

And the blackbird disagrees.

Singing in the night time, singing in the day,

When little duck quacks, and he's on his way.

And the otter hasn't got much to say

And the porcupine talks to himself

All God's creatures got a place in the choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,

Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,

Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now

The dogs and the cats they take up the middle

While the honeybee hums and the cricket fiddles,

The donkey brays and the pony neighs

And the old gray badger sighs...

Listen to the bass, it's the one on the bottom

Where the bullfrog croaks and the hippopotamus

Moans and groans with a big t'do

And the old cow just goes moo.

All God's creatures got a place in the choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,

Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,

Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now

It's a simple song a little song everywhere

By the ox and the fox and the grizzly bear,

The dopey alligator and the hawk above,

The sly old weasel and the turtle dove.

All God's creatures got a place in the choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,

Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,

Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now

All God's creatures got a place in the choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,

Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,

Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now

All God's creatures got a place in the choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,

Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,

Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now

All God's creatures got a place in the choir!

NOTE: I’ve written an additional verse to this song, featuring fantastic beasts, which goes like this:

Physiologus writes a biology book,

While the unicorn blows its horn by the brook.

The dragon roars in a crystal cave --

If you seek it out, you have to be brave!

The dryad whispers a tree-top tune,

While the werewolf howls by the light of the Moon.

The vampire bat in the belfry rings,

While the phoenix bird so brightly sings!

“The Unicorn” (1962)

Words by Shel Silverstein (1930-1999) & the Irish Rovers (1968)

1. A long time ago, when the earth was green

And there was more kinds of animals than you’ve ever seen,

And they run around free while the world was being born,

And the loveliest of all was the Unicorn.

            There was green alligators and long-neck geese.

            There was humpty-backed camels and chimpanzees.

            There was cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you’re born

            The loveliest of all was the Unicorn.

2. But the Lord seen some sinning, and it caused him pain.

He says, “Stand back, I’m gonna make it rain.”

He says, “Hey Brother Noah, I’ll tell ya whatcha do.

Go and build me a floating zoo.

            And you take two alligators and a couple of geese,

            Two humpty-backed camels and two chimpanzees.

            Take two cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you’re born

            Noah, don’t you forget my Unicorn.”

3. Now Noah was there, he answered the calling

And he finished up the ark just as the rain was falling.

He marched in the animals two by two,

And he called out as they went through,

            “Hey Lord, I got your two alligators and your couple of geese,

            Your humpty-backed camels and your chimpanzees.

            Got your cats and rats and elephants -- but Lord, I’m so forlorn

            Cause I just don’t see no Unicorn.”

4. Old Noah looked out through the driving rain

But the Unicorns were hiding, playing silly games.

They were kicking and splashing in the misty morn,

Oh them silly Unicorn.

Then the goat started goating, and the snake started snaking,

The elephant started elephanting, and the boat started shaking.

The mouse started squeaking, and the lion started roaring,

And everyone’s aboard but the Unicorn.

            I mean the green alligators and the long-neck geese,

            The humpty-backed camels and the chimpanzees.

            Noah cried, “Close the door cause the rain is pouring --

            And we just can’t wait for them Unicorn.”

5. Then the ark started moving, and it drifted with the tide,

And the Unicorns looked up from the rock and cried.

And the water come up and sort of floated them away --

That’s why you’ve never seen a Unicorn to this day.

            You’ll see a lot of alligators and a whole mess of geese.

            You’ll see humpty-backed camels and lots of chimpanzees.

            You’ll see cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you’re born

            You’re never gonna see no Unicorn.

Additional Verse by the Irish Rovers:

6. Now you might think this is the ending to the song,

But I’ll have to tell you, friends, that in fact you’re wrong.

You see, Unicorns are magical, so when the rain started pouring,

They grew themselves some wings and they took to soaring.

            You’ll see green alligators and long-necked geese

            Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees

            But if you’re looking for the Unicorns, don’t be forlorn,

            The second star to the right and straight on until morn.

Enjoy the early spring weather outside this weekend! :)

Rob